EP #36 | 4 Myths About Selling

Welcome to the Designers Oasis podcast. I'm your host, Kate Bendewald, interior designer, mama and CEO of a thriving interior design business, built on authentic word of mouth referrals. It wasn't that long ago that I stepped away from my corporate architecture job to build my own dream, one that would allow me more time with the people that I love, the ability to serve my clients at the highest level, and to make a great living. It wasn't always easy, and I've made my share of mistakes along the way. Fast forward to today, and I've learned a thing or two. This podcast is for you - the inspired, creative, ambitious, and let's admit it,  occasionally overwhelmed interior designer who shares this dream of transforming lives by transforming homes. Join me and my guests each week as we walk through practical ways to build an interior design business you love, and helps you transform your clients' lives. You can do this. 

Hello there, my friends. And welcome back to another episode of the Designers Oasis podcast. This is Kate, if you're new around here, welcome. We talk about all things interior design business related. So I'm so glad to have you joining me today, we are talking about four myths around selling. 

Now I know because I talked to hundreds, if not 1000s of interior designers. And I know that when it comes to selling yourself selling your service and selling your brand. That isn't something that doesn't always come naturally. I want to start before we get into these four minutes telling you a little bit about my own story sharing my background with this because it hasn't been easy. In fact, it not only wasn't easy, it was very painful for me. So if you go all the way back to Episode One I kind of share. The episode is titled three core truths. And I talked about kind of my journey into being a business owner, without any business experience, necessarily. And I had to kind of figure a lot on my own. And one of those things was how to sell. I knew how to design right I came, I have a degree in design, I have lots of really great experience in high end residential and a commercial world. But once I was out on my own, all of a sudden, I was wearing this new hat of having to sell myself to people. And I would get on these discovery calls with folks. And they were painful. They were rambling, they took forever, I didn't have a clear goal beginning middle and end, I was just like, here's my thing, if you want to buy it, go for it. Here's how I work, you know, and there was no emphasis around the value that I bring, there was no overarching big picture plan of what to expect. There was no casting revision of what life was like on the other side of working together. None of that it was just really painful and really awkward. And I knew I needed to help.

So I actually hired a sales coach. And it was one of the best investments I've ever made. And I've learned a lot since then, in my own experience, but that initial training, that initial teaching really helped me unlock some important aspects of selling. And it really opened me up to the important things to pay attention to tone of voice and talking. I also took and I don't mention this in that episode, but I also took professional voice for women, because a lot of us especially women, have have this tendency to incidences like a question. And when you didn't sentences with a question, it diminishes your authority. And even though that wasn't necessarily my specific problem, I struggled with landing my sentences and speaking with authority, so instead of ending my sentences, landing them where you hear the tone of voice for you in the sentence, sort of in a in a downshift that commands authority versus an upswing in your tone of voice, which causes your voice to sound like you're questioning yourself. And so it was not only the content of what I was saying, but it was also the way that I've learned my sentences with clients. It's with authority. And so all of that was a part of my early education around selling You and I have since built upon that. And I feel like when I get on a discovery call today, or I'm sitting in front of a potential client at a consultation, or I'm delivering a proposal, it feels so natural. 

And I think what we're going to talk about today, these four myths are going to help share with you some of the barriers that I experienced and how I overcame them. These are also things that I work with the designers inside the membership, and we talked about this, as well. But yeah, so it was, it was super painful those early days. And as discovery calls were especially difficult, I actually recorded a with permission, recorded one of my sales conversation and shared it with my coach. And she, oh, she wrote to me a new and not in a bad way. She was just like, oh blue, if that's the work. So, but things really turned around after working with her. And I'm so excited and feel delighted to be able to share some of these learnings over the years with you. So that was about 10 years ago that I that I did this experience with a sales coach. And so in addition to that, as well as my own experience, I've learned a lot. And I hope that you take something away today that can help you. If you think you can be a business owner and get away without having to sell yourself and sell your services and have selling conversations, you are dead wrong, you absolutely will never grow, you will never expand, you will never be able to get bigger projects, better projects, better clients, the kinds of projects that really light you up, because you're going to always be playing small selling is essential to any business owner, not only aren't, let's just say let's just take out that initial phase, let's say that you actually hire someone to do that initial discovery call for you to do some vetting for you. And I know lots of designers that do that, who's gonna do the selling for you, when you're in a design presentation, that's you, that's going to be you and selling doesn't end once you get the money in the contract, right? Selling continues throughout the client journey. 

Selling happens when you're in the design presentation, and you're trying to share your vision, when a client pushes back and says, I don't know about that. You can have a conversation with them. If you once you're comfortable with this idea of selling, you can have a conversation with them that takes that apart a little bit and it says Okay, tell me why right and get to the bottom of it and be able to sell your vision explain why you made this selection, why he made this choice to move this here that there whatever the case may be. But my point is, selling is an essential part of running a business period. Okay, so you might as well get comfortable with it. And I'm hoping that today's episode in these formats will help you start to think about some ways that you might shift your own thinking, around selling and then at the end of today's episode I have I have written about this extensively on the blog, and I've got a handful of episodes, I'm going to share those blog posts with you. So if you want to read more about this, you absolutely can. Okay. The number one misconception about selling is that selling is trying to convince someone, right something you're trying to persuade some thing, somebody to do something. And that couldn't be farther from the truth. I love this quote by Zig Ziglar. It says selling is not something you do to someone. It's something you do for someone. Okay, so this is a great lead into Myth number one, selling has to feel hard or icky. Okay, yes, selling will feel hard and icky if you're trying to sell something that you don't believe in. The reality is that selling is helping you have something that your clients need, they have sought you out, because they are in facing a project of some kind, and they feel like they can't do it on their own. If you show up and you're not selling your services, you're actually doing them a disservice. Okay, you have the skills, knowledge and expertise to help them out. And so if you can start to put on your helping hat, if you just replace the word selling with helping and that feels a little bit better for you than try that. But if you could put on your helping hat versus your sales hat, I think you'll feel that IQ and that sleazy and that slime, go away. So one of the things my sales coach talked about as guardrails and everybody has different guardrails in terms of what they're comfortable with when it comes to selling. Some people have really wide guardrails and in the sense that, you know, they're willing to go much further to greater lengths to get a project where another person might not have that going so far doesn't feel comfortable for them. And so that's your guardrail and you have to figure out what your personal guardrail is, right and, and I believe that over time, your guardrail widens and you gain more confidence and you are more confident in being slightly more aggressive but not an not an tacky way, right. I've just thought Thinking about really going for it. Okay, I'm gonna have an example of that here in a minute. So if doing something feels icky, sleazy or slimy, you need to find a different way. Okay? So figure out what your personal guardrail is know that over time, it will widen, it will shift, it will change. But it shouldn't feel icky, you should feel like you are in the process of helping them get clarity on what the next steps are, and just replace the word selling with helping, I think you'll start to feel that it becomes a lot easier and more authentic. 

Okay, Myth number two, my beliefs about money don't really matter. Well, the reality is your beliefs about money, absolutely matter. Your Money, story matters. And if you don't have that sorted out first, and that's truly something that I believe most people work on all the time, their whole lives. But if if if you don't have your money, story clear, it's going to be an uphill battle to sell your services. Now, we all have deep seated beliefs about money. And if they are unhealthy, or limited views about money, it can keep you stuck. And it can keep you playing small. Like, I am the daughter of a single mother. Growing up, we experienced lots of financial challenges. There was a lot of vulnerability around money. So do you think that I grew up and became a functioning adult having, you know, all the money story figured out, you know, having a healthy relationship with money? Absolutely not, I have had to do tremendous work around my money story, because it always felt scarce. And so I brought that in initially, I brought that into my relationship in my business and working with my clients. And it wasn't until I did some work there to get clear on my money story, that it really opened me up and freed me to it was very liberating to separate, not necessarily to separate my money story. 

But to realize that my money story is not somebody else's money story, okay. And that's, that was kind of the first thing. But what's even more important here is that you have to believe at your core, that what you are selling the services you are providing are a total value for what you are offering them for. Right? Not a bargain, but that the value is in alignment with the price and your design fees that you are putting out there. So you need to believe at your core, that good design can change lives, that it can make people's lives better, it can help people feel happier, more joy, I believe that right? And so if you are n sure about the benefit of design for people, whether that's in a residential or commercial setting, I'd start there and start to really get clear onthinking about what's on the other side of of working with somebody like you and what are those? What are those benefits that somebody can feel and experience after working with you? And I'm not just talking about those. The physical experience like oh, something's more organized something is there's better flow, whatever, all those things are true. But how will a client feel in this space? How will the people who enter this space feel and experience it? And how does that how does design impact their lives afterwards, so you have to believe at your core that good design can change lives. You need to believe that 100% that the services you are offering and the price that you are putting out there for them is worth every penny. 

Okay. I was working with a designer who had a proposal prepared for clients, she was getting ready to send it but she wanted to talk to me about it. And she was hesitating to send it because she knew what her clients occupation was. And she had a belief that the client would not be able to afford her that the client didn't have the money for this because of what her her occupation was. There's a preconceived idea about her occupation and how much money they make. And she believed it would be cost prohibitive based based on based on that information. So her money story was telling her to reduce her fees to make it more affordable for the person because she wanted the job. The reality is that's not her clients money story. That's her money story. Your clients money is none of your business. Your clients are grownups. Your clients can decide what they can afford and what they can't afford, not you. It is none of your business. If they can't afford you there is a designer out there who may be in a different place in their career that they can't afford. And that's going to leave you the ability to stay opened up for a client that is going to be perfectly aligned. Okay. But your clients money is none of your business period. Let your clients decide for themselves you put together proposals that makes sense based on the scope of work based on your experience level and based on your expertise, and you present it, period.

Myth number three, and no means that there's something wrong with me or my offer. So you send a proposal and you either get crickets or you get a response gives you that ubiquitous, oh, we've decided to go in a different direction response, okay. What you might experience is a flood of emotion saying Oh, overpriced myself, or it was something I said, or this slew of internal voices coming in and telling you what you did wrong? Or what's wrong with your proposal. And what I want you to do when you are faced with a no, meaning they don't want to work with you, or they don't want your your full suite of offerings, whatever the case may be, I want you to instead get curious. getting curious is one of the most powerful things you can do in your business is not just taking something at face value, but digging deeper. I talked about getting curious whenever it comes to red flags. We had an episode a number of weeks ago about red flags, and this is my biggest response is to get curious, okay. Same idea. But here, you're taking this idea of getting curious whenever it comes to receiving a nil. Maybe it's that you haven't communicated your value really well. Maybe there's something that your client missed about the process, and it needs a clear understanding of what to expect, what the deliverables are, what the timeline might be. Maybe they just simply need more information or more reassurance, maybe you haven't done the best job of painting the picture of life on the other side of working with you. There can be a number of reasons why a client says no, and if they don't give you a specific reason, it's super important that you take a minute and just ask. I appreciate you getting back to me. Do you mind sharing what your reason is for deciding to go in a different direction? There's no harm in asking, right? The worst case scenario is they don't respond. Okay, so what they don't respond. Best case scenario is, excuse me, next case scenario is that they respond. And it's a legitimate question. It's a legitimate excuse me not question. It's a legitimate issue or concern, maybe it's not an alignment, maybe they you know, have somebody else that they feel more connected to, maybe it is a pricing thing, and it's not going to work, but at least you have some information that helps guide you the next time and it may or may not be beneficial information. Best case scenario is you get the opportunity to come back and say, you know, counter that or provide more information or paint it in a different light or clarify some things for your client. But don't I'm not gonna say don't take no for an answer, but I'm gonna say don't take no at face value. 

Get curious and find more information. It might not have anything What to do with you or your offer? It might be that there's just a lack of information and you need to clarify some things. I want to share a quick story with you. And it's so it's sort of relates. In this case, my client actually did tell me in her initial email, why she decided to not go with us. I didn't have to reach out and ask her. If she had that I would have followed up. And I would have asked, Can you? Can you please elaborate on on your decision. But in this case, she told me, so I'm going to read you her email, and then I'm going to read you my response. This is an example of how you might respond to a client that says no to you that they have an objection, and how you could respond. So I actually won't read the client's full email. But essentially, she replied, and she said, I think we've decided to go with a designer that our builder has worked with before, crystal clear why she decided not to work with us. It was really hard to spend decision, especially because you and your team are so amazing what you do, I was wonderful to meet you. Blah, blah, blah, recommend you all the best. It was an honest and kind response. But I was got it. This was a project, she hadn't even taken the chance to meet me in person to do the concept, the paid consultation, because her contractor was recommending a designer. And that just seemed like the path of least resistance for them. So what I did, I say I, I will link to this blog post in the show notes if you're curious to read the whole thing. 

But I really wanted this project. It was an historic renovation, it was in a neighborhood that I was very familiar with. And I had a connection with. I really liked the clients who were just kind people. And I wanted this project not even because I had time for it, I was so busy. But it was just one of these projects that you're like, oh my gosh, this is so exciting. It was just a cool house. And what they were doing was was exciting. Here's my response. So I decided to try something new, originally had been trying to sell her on this idea of, you know, my typical process a two hour paid consultation. And so what I did instead was this, I said, Hi, I appreciate you want to find the best fit for you and your project. I'm not one to, in quotes fight for a project typically. But every now and then a project comes to our doors that really lights us up as designers, yours is one of them. If your decision is not final, I would respectfully love to still be considered for your project, we would happily offer a one hour complimentary consultation followed up with a proposal. I'm gonna pause here for a second, you notice that I'm switching gears here and I'm trying something different just to see what works. It's like, okay, you don't have to pay for to our consultation. Let's do a one hour I probably doing the same, I would say a 30 minute consultation complimentary, you know, there's no risk just to get the chance to meet them and see the project and provide a proposal so no risk to them. Okay, so then I go on to say, I've enjoyed many successful relationships with builders, architects and contractors over my career and assure you I would aim to build a solid relationship with you and your team. So there I am directly addressing her objection, which is she wants to work with somebody that her contractor is used to working with. And then I go on, and I think this might have been the tipping point. If you can include a testimonial of any kind, this is a great opportunity for you to do it. So what I said is one contractor left this review. Quote, working with Kate on this job is one of the most pleasant kitchen remodels I've completed she's very detail oriented and organized all the while designing with the client and quote, and I finalize this email by saying I would welcome a phone call if you'd like to discuss or schedule a time for us to come by respectfully, Kate. So truth be told this was a very vulnerable email. It didn't want to come across as too eager. I certainly wasn't I had more work than I knew what to do it. But he really liked them. And it needs to be a fun project. Long story short, they accepted my offer for the complimentary meeting. I talked with them. I gave them a proposal and we ended up getting the project. 

So had I left the no at No, I wouldn't have had that job. So you have to keep in mind whenever you're getting objections when somebody says no, that you need to get curious dig in a little bit. It doesn't necessarily mean that there's something wrong with you or your offer, but at least can provide you with the opportunity to gain more information, gain knowledge and sometimes counteract that and, and switch and get them to flip their decision. Okay, so let's wrap up with myth number four. And I love this one. I definitely struggled with this very, very early on, especially when they were it was in the heyday of these online design companies. And myth is I can't compete with or quote cheap or online designers or free design services offered by retailers. poboy Yeah, so $99 for a room does All right, we've we have seen those types of services offered out there. And let's be honest, you get what you pay for. So your competitive edge should not be on price. Full stop. Rather, your competitive edge is based on the experience that you give your clients. And if you can create an experience for your clients that is cannot be mimicked cannot be mirrored by somebody else. And that is your competitive edge. And this includes your area of expertise. So if you're an expert on a certain area, this is included in giving your clients this experience. So focus on creating an experience that cannot be replicated, because nobody can compete on that. So maybe your differentiator is your area of expertise, you need to be able to articulate the value that you bring in that area and how it's different and declare that promise. So in my business, we want to make the design process as effortless and seamless as possible for our clients. It is built on the model of working in high end restaurants, and wanting to really delight and please and host our guest in a way that is warm, efficient, friendly, what I want them to walk out with their bellies full is back when I was waiting tables, bellies, full laughing having had a great time, and I'm not making their life harder. I'm doing everything I can to make life easier during a project does that mean it's going to be seamless? Absolutely not. But that is our goal is to delight our clients every step of the length. 

You may be a designer, and you've got an area of expertise that you really want to showcase. Maybe you're an art or an antiques enthusiast. And yeah, I botched that word enthusiast. And you want to showcase the fact that you have an extensive database of sources. You've got a big ol Rolodex of people that you can call or call on who areantique dealers, or art dealers, or whatever the case may be. For you young folks out there a Rolodex is something that old folks used to have that is little cards with pieces of paper and you'd slip people's contact information. Boy, I'm making myself sound old right now. But yes, I just made a Rolodex statement. But you get the idea. Okay, maybe you're color experts. So you can bring to the forefront your expertise. When it comes to color. A color is such an emotional component and design. And you know, the difference between 50 shades of white, okay, and so you're able to bring that expertise to the table. Maybe you are a designer who wants to showcase and put at the forefront environmental and ethical sourcing practices. So you want to talk about what your promises are. I recently was on whole foods responsible sourcing website. I will link to this because I think that I think that that model and the way that they talk about responsible sourcing can be such an inspiration for you as a designer. And what if you took the same model and put it into design, I'm not saying that you go like mimic this. And I'm not suggesting that you put this forefront of your business unless that's actually what you're doing. I think we all have a responsibility to to to do responsible sourcing. But if this is your area of expertise, I think it's really important that you highlight that but Whole Foods or sports research. Your whole foods responsible sourcing website is an incredible point of inspiration to look at this as an example. By the way, I always love looking at businesses and industries outside of interior design for inspiration. Everybody knows that Southwest Airlines, although in recent months, this is questionable. But historically they've been known for their their incredible brand that they have. This is just one example. But the idea is, you know, they say so you can feel good about what you're putting in your body. What if you took this idea and flipped it on its head and said so you can feel good about what you're putting in your home right? I actually am inspired to look more into responsible sourcing practices for interior designers just based on having read this website. So the lighting clients every step of the way, that is my signature. And in my program, the interior designers business blueprint, I teach my entire process from onboarding, to selling to design all the way through installation. And in each course I teach designers how they too can find ways to delight their clients. And this is what makes you do this is what makes what you do. Impossible to emulate. And that is your competitive edge. So you are not competing on price. If you're doing that you will never break out of whatever level you're at, right? You have to be willing to find other ways to showcase your competitive edge. 

Okay, a couple of resources I want to share with you. And these are all going to be linked in the show notes below. But there are a couple of blog posts that are related to this topic. And I wanted to just point those out for you First, an abundance mindset three ways to shift your mind Towards Abundance. Great one to start with. If you want to read more about the example that I was just sharing with my client, it's a personal story. I didn't take no for an answer. The third blog post is called Five follow up strategies to get more interior design clients. Follow up is such a huge part of the process. And I know that that is something that can feel icky, and your guardrails might be really narrow when it comes to that. But if you can come up with a follow up strategy that feels good and warm and authentic, that's going to be really important to helping you get past objections. So check that one out. And then finally, three ways to stop doubting your design fees. All right, friends. Well, that's all I have for today, we're gonna have all the links to what we've mentioned today in the show notes. Thanks for hanging out with me. I'll see you next time. Bye for now. 

Thank you so much for letting me spend part of this day with you. If you're loving this podcast, please share it with a friend who you think might also love it. Or perhaps you can take just 30 seconds to open your podcast app and leave us a five star rating. And if you have just an extra minute, go ahead and leave a review. This helps me so much and it helps other designers like you to find the podcast. It also adds fuel to my motivation to keep making great episodes just for you. However you choose to help. Please know I appreciate you so very much. Thank you, my friend. Have a wonderful rest of your day and I'll see you next time