EP #46 | You Have Time with Jenny Footle
Welcome to the Designers Oasis podcast. I'm your host, Kate Bendewald, interior designer, mama and CEO of a thriving interior design business, built on authentic word of mouth referrals. It wasn't that long ago that I stepped away from my corporate architecture job to build my own dream, one that would allow me more time with the people that I love, the ability to serve my clients at the highest level, and to make a great living. It wasn't always easy, and I've made my share of mistakes along the way. Fast forward to today, and I've learned a thing or two. This podcast is for you - the inspired, creative, ambitious, and let's admit it, occasionally overwhelmed interior designer who shares this dream of transforming lives by transforming homes. Join me and my guests each week as we walk through practical ways to build an interior design business you love, and help you transform your clients' lives. You can do this.
Kate Bendewald
My guest today is Jenny Footle, she is just an amazing woman, and you're in for a real treat today. So I met Jenny at a yoga workshop that she led and she just had in that one out of two hours together just such an incredible impact on me, and really helping me to focus on staying present in my day to day life and using my body to help me sort of tune in prior to working on a project or to meeting having a meeting with someone. And I kept thinking in the back of my mind, like, oh my gosh, so much of what she's talking about, I feel like listeners, you know, could benefit from thinking about things like before a client presentation, or before you go into a consultation, you know, getting getting clear, getting present, getting grounded handling conflict with the client, you know, when mistakes happen, and you just feel gutted, right? You just feel like, Oh my God, how did I do this? Or my clients gonna be so mad, or this is gonna cost me so much money, you know? How can you move through those difficult moments without beating yourself up without feeling like, the whole thing is a loss, it's all going to just fall apart, right? Doomsday sort of mentality. That's, you know, in the past, whenever I ran into conflict, or ran into a challenging situation, I would sometimes go to this dark place of just like, ready to throw the whole thing out. Right. And, and of course, with time, we realized that's just overkill. But the point is, the the work that she does, and the things that she talks about, is so beneficial. And so practical, that I wanted to bring her on were are in the middle of celebrating our mental health awareness month. And I know you listening here, you're you're one of those smart, driven, ambitious, you're big hearted interior designer, and you don't want to let people down. You want to give everything your best. And I know how hard that can be to maintain. And so I hope that today's conversation really helps you to find ways to manage expectations of yourself, manage expectations of your clients, to work at a pace that feels sustainable and healthy. And some really practical tools for when you feel like you know, what does hit the fan how to move through those difficult moments or conversations in a way that is thoughtful and meaningful and just with intention. So, Ginni is an incredible woman, and I'm so thrilled to have her here today. Let's let's meet Jenny. Hi, Jenny. Good morning. Welcome to the show. How are you?
Jenny Footle
How are you?
Kate Bendewald
I'm great. I'm great. I know you're here in the Denver area and you had your own hail experience this morning, but we've had like this go are just beautiful spring weather which can be distracting when you're trying to work. But today it's cold and drizzly. And I, I'm not mad at that either. I kind of like it. Yeah, it's good. So I brought you on today because I recently met you at a yoga workshop that you were hosting. And you gave us note, I'm so glad, by the way, thank you, you gave us a piece of paper and pen to take notes. And at first I was like, wow, never done. Never done that in yoga, but okay. And it, it became so helpful. And I, I wrote down, just copious notes throughout it. And one of the notes that I have on here was just like, the relationship between being a business owner and yoga, and I learned so much in your workshop about tuning into your body slowing down, really paying attention. And right now we are celebrating Mental Health Awareness Month. That's what we're bringing on guests in this area. And so I I just I'm so grateful to have you here to talk talk about it, because I wanted to take some of those things that we learned in the workshop and hope that you could share some of that with our listeners today. So thank you so much for joining me today.
Jenny Footle
Yeah, for sure.
Kate Bendewald
All right. So Jenny, you are a yoga instructor. But you do so much more than that. I want you to tell our listeners about your company, it's beautiful feet wellness, you do some pretty amazing and incredible work. Can you tell us a little bit about beautiful field wellness and the kind of work that you're involved with?
Jenny Footle
Yeah, so we I started a organization, a nonprofit, and we work with people coming out of human trafficking. And a lot of what we do is focused on body bodily healing, because we were seeing a lot of people are doing job skills, a lot of people are doing housing, and a lot of people are starting to see the need for counseling, but there's not a lot of people really attending to their body. And the things that have happened to them are very physical in nature. So we take that approach, but then also realizing that there's just not a lot of community for this population, once they get out. Especially after they get out of programs. They're cut off from services, because they need to go to other people. And so just kind of finding that, like, you know, what do I do now and is there for me, so we're just started building this community of people who want to thrive in their life, and who are really trying to step into a new way of life. So
Kate Bendewald
Oh, my gosh, I just got chills, the work that you're doing is clearly impactful, and so needed, but you know, somebody like me, who's not involved with, you know, organizations like this would never understand, or we would never know, the need for the kind of services that you provide, but you're so good at it. And you, you know, just in that hour and a half, or whatever long that workshop was, you know, the, the amount of information you taught me just to help me on a visceral practical, right on a on a day to day basis of, of taking care of your body so that you can you can show up. And I know that that community that you're helping is so grateful that that you're doing the work that you're doing. How did you how did you get How did you find yourself here in this work were tell me Give me that that little journey. I want the story.
Jenny Footle
I was working, I was actually working in human rights, and politics. And so I was working on the policy side of human rights. And some people had asked me to take on some projects related to human trafficking. And so I did and got really interested in it. And then like realize it really has like personal impacts for me and my people. And so really got into that to the human trafficking side and caring about it through that work. And then I was working a full time job. And I was a fitness instructor on the side. And I started volunteering with different safe houses and halfway houses that serve people coming out of trafficking or sexual exploitation. And just realizing that they had a really sedentary lifestyle, they always complained about said lifestyle. And so I thought, Well, I'm a fitness instructor, I was also in my early 20s. So it wasn't about to teach these women how to cook pasta, because they could like, fix circles around me, you know, and teach me a ton of like, what's actually going to be beneficial to these people. And so I started teaching fitness classes at the safe houses. And it was really having a huge impact on the population. And so much so that I started to do it at more places. And I started to come there more and people kept asking me to come there more often. And at one point I reached the point where I was doing it in all my free time. And I had to start turning people down I said I you know, I I wish I could but I you know I don't have enough time and so then That's when I left full time work, and began to do this work full time. And as I've done it, I've kind of delved into the research of why it's having such a big impact on people why movement has such a big impact on people. And there's tons of science behind it and research behind it. And so it really does make a difference. And there's a lot of things we can see about why that is. So that's how I ended up starting the nonprofit just to free me up more to be able to do this work. So
Kate Bendewald
I love that because I can see a world where a lot of people would just, you know, get to that point where they're just like, I just don't have enough time, right enough capacity. And that's okay to write. There's some times that is the right answer. But you had clearly saw and felt the calling. And we're like, Yeah, but I'm gonna figure this out. Yeah. Well, I know, they're so they're so fortunate to have you in their lives. And I feel and I feel fortunate that I sort of signed up for your workshop on a whim. I did, I did, it was a trauma informed workshop, which I don't think I realized when I went into it, but it didn't matter. Like I think, you know, so many of us, you know, in this concept isn't new to me anymore, but I could see how it would be to a lot of people trauma, there's what we refer to as big T, little T trauma, right. And big T trauma Are these like big event trauma, that's, you know, being in Iraq being abused, those kinds of things, and then little T traumas, like those smaller things that happen over a period of time, that might not be so obvious, you know, being you know, coexisting with somebody who cuts you down, or tears tears you down. There's, there's all kinds of it. So the work still matters, right? We I think it took me a long time to realize that I had experienced a little T trauma in my life. And when I finally had, you know, had the courage to put a name to it, it's like, okay, that's validating now. Right? And so you will, I want to get into some of the specifics, because I will, I think what our listeners would really appreciate hearing from you today as some of the techniques that you shared with us in the workshop. But if you're listening right now, there's a couple of things that Jenny's gonna share with us here in a minute, that I want you to be thinking about something in the back of your mind, like, when can these techniques come into play for you, if you're listening, you have more than likely, if you've been in this industry long enough, you've had an experience where a client has done something that just unravels you, right, where a client shops or work or questions or integrity or whatever the case may be, where the relationship kind of starts to unravel. And it can be very, at least for me, it has been, I can be one of these moments that makes you feel like an imposter. It makes you feel like, the whole thing is a waste, right? You just get to throw the whole thing out. And not not have some perspective, right? It can just feel like this overwhelming sense of frustration and fear and anxiety. You know, maybe you make a mistake, and it's going to cost you money. Right? There's, there's so many opportunities in our industry, for things to kind of come apart. And I think that the what we're going to talk about today, are some really good techniques for when these moments happen, to pause, take a minute, check in with your body, reflect on what's going on. And just allow yourself to move through whatever's happening in a way that is intentional, and kind to yourself and kind to your body. So I want to start with the idea of pausing before you transition you. There was if there was one thing that you said in this workshop, which is very you just very calmly and it was at the end, you're sort of integrating what we had just done and you're talking you're like talking about, you know, all of this, you just said you have time. And that was the thing that you said that brought me to tears and it was like like, I just did an episode with Molly crouch, we were talking about feeling like you're always juggling all the balls all the time. And you know, at any moment, by the way, if you haven't heard this episode, and I think it comes out before this one, I'm not sure I don't have the schedule in front of me. But she had this beautiful metaphor I said, I feel like I'm juggling all the balls all the time. And if I'm not careful, I'm going to drop one and they're all going to fall right it's just a house of cards. Raising a family we're in the middle of a renovation running a business. The first world problems right I'm not because I'm these are all blessings in my life. And I'm very, very aware of my privilege. And yet, there's still like a lot of pressure to just like keep keep it moving. Right. Keep it moving. So what I just want to finish saying was then I'll let you talk. Molly said, this really beautiful thing was just like yeah, but you have to realize some of those balls are glass balls. And yes, you want to keep those in there, that's your family that's taking care of your health. That's like getting your kids to doctor's appointments, right? But some of those balls are rubber, and they're gonna bat they're gonna fall, and they're gonna bounce, and you're gonna have another chance to catch them. And you just need to figure out which ones are glasses, which ones are rubber, and I, you know, we're visual thinkers, this, this crew that we're talking to. So that resonated with me. So well. Okay, so I want you to talk about this idea of pausing before you move on to the next thing and, and the value of that and how to do it.
Jenny Footle
Yeah, I think there's a lot of things I was, I was literally talking to another entrepreneur just yesterday. And they were saying, I feel like a lot of entrepreneurs, start their businesses out of this desperation, or this, like need to do something else. Like they can't, they're stuck where they're at, they have to do something else, or what they're doing is not making ends meet. So they have to pivot, and all these kinds of things. And I was just thinking, and, and I felt really good in that I see that. But I couldn't agree with him as far as my own journey. Because I was forced to pause and I was forced to take a break, or I gave myself that space. And so a little background on my nonprofit. So I was like, I was working full time I knew I wanted, I knew I was going to start a business, but I wasn't really super excited about it. If we're being honest, I just knew that that's what I was going to do. And I ended up getting really sick before I left my full time job. And I ended up taking medical leave. And as someone who works like 60 plus hours a week, this was like crushing I like legally couldn't work. And it was the craziest thing.
Kate Bendewald
Wow. Well, and especially because you were such a physical person. Yeah. Okay. Oh my gosh, right.
Jenny Footle
Yeah. And so it was, yeah, it was really crazy to not be able to like work my jobs and do everything. And I had to just pause for months. And that was a new concept to me. And so like, I grew up on a farm like you, you work from, like 5am, to, like, after sundown, right? Like, it's, I this has just been my life for the whole time. So doing that I think anyone who's experienced, like illness, or like losing someone, or whatever, it makes you pause and think like, what am I doing? And what is it costing me and why. And so I feel like grateful that now that I had that experience before I started my business. And then I started my business literally in March of 2020. And then the world shut down. And so I actually had this opportunity to take time to start my business up well, because let's be honest, no one was going to ask me at the end of 2020, like, what are your metrics? Like, what did you accomplish this? Right? Nobody was asking that question. Expectations. And so I felt like really? Like yeah, this is like a really good thing that I just happened to work out. You know, it's a lot of perspective to write. But still, at the same time, it was just really like, it instilled that in me, like whenever I began working, and I was like, I could answer all these emails, I could complete this project today. But I don't want to set that tone for what people expect of me because it's not healthy for them or for me, and like we need to stop working in an unhealthy pace. So it stops becoming the norm. And so I just had that kind of come in.
Kate Bendewald
Well, hold on a second. So what I'm hearing is, when you are you can set you set the tone, right for how people can expect to interact with you. And if you get I have a client who when I sent her an email, I get a response back within like five minutes. And bless her. I love that. And I love that I get a response. But it is like sometimes if I don't get a response within a day or so I'm like, under she's okay, she mad at me. Like she's not she's just normal and she's human. But she I got used to it. And so what I'm hearing is that we can be we can take ownership of what kind of pace we set for ourselves and what kind of expectations Okay, go on.
Jenny Footle
Yeah, absolutely. And so I think that's a really big part of it is like we we can change the narrative and I think especially women, but you know, everyone, it can be everyone's work. But, you know, there was an interview with like Susan G komen. And, you know, she was like why do they were like How come like you're able to rally so many people around this cause and so well and so quickly, like there's men's cancer that's just as you know, much of a problem. She made a comment about like, because women can organize and get things done. And so it was really funny. But I'm just like, moving into this space where I'm like, what if we decide to change the narrative? And I love it, because like, my husband's actually more of a feminist than I am, which is lovely. But just like, what if we like we actually like in women outnumber men too. So if we started saying, we're not going to keep going at this unhealthy pace, and I think, you know, the pandemic gave us all this ability to push the pause button and say, this is an unhealthy pace, you know, and the more that we research it, it's really is but going back to, you know, that statement that I made of you have time, so I was, like, I'm still pretty young, to be honest, you know. And I remember my business advisor, whenever I first started it, like I was doing, like so much and goes fast. And he was like, this person in his 60s, you know, recently retired from international businessman, you know, and he just looked at me, he's like, you have time, like, you're young? And even if you weren't, like, you have time, you know, and I was like, oh, yeah, like, that doesn't have to be done today. Or tomorrow, or a month from now, like, who would know, but you. And what did you know, and just like thinking about, like, at what cost? Like what I think especially for, like the field for like, designers, you know, you have to give yourself that space to really curate that curiosity and that creativity. And I was recently reading that it like it comes out of you have to like you experience deep creativity out of a space of boredom. And I'm like writing a book right now. And that was really hard for me, because I'm like, I don't know, if I understand how to be bored, or like how to allow myself to get to that space, where I'm actually bored, where like creativity can fly like that would def that's definitely a challenge, you know, for me personally, and just allowing us to have that brain space. So we're not, we're not giving people out of like our reserves, like, instead, we're actually giving people our best, which is what they want, you know, but we can't give our best if we're like literally running on E all the time, or if we're running on half empty all the time. And so you're not showing up in a way that is honoring to you, and you're not showing up in a way that you know, is honoring to them. So it's almost like think about like, what are we doing here? You know, back to that question of like, we actually doing whenever we just keep running ourselves ragged, you know, and not show up. I mean, like, think about the people who you see, like, after they get back from vacation, they like Look alive. They look so happy. They like so refreshed. And then there's like the people, you know, like college students at the end of a term, like, what, oh, the difference, you know, oh
Kate Bendewald
my gosh, I know, I am actually this close to a 10 day vacation in Costa Rica. And that I'm, I'm trying to be intentional about going into it calmly and also setting myself up for when I get back so that it's not, I'm just smacked with a wall of work, you know, so much, I want to go back to this idea of curating, or sorry, cultivating and nurturing creativity. Because this has come up a lot for me recently, in some conversations. My coach, too, is, you know, I was sort of just she knows she's been working with me on this project, that I'm trying to get out the door. And it's taking a lot longer than I expected. I started working on it in November, and I, you know, thought it would come out in January, here we are. It's April, it's still not out, but it's getting there. And just, and I told her, I was like, I feel like I'm gonna have to take my laptop on vacation with me and work to get this done. And she really talked me off the ledge there. She was like, Well, you could, but she made the point that like give yourself that time to integrate a lot of what you have been working on. When you can give yourself some white space to just be bored, let your mind wander, journal, be alone do yoga, whatever, you know, like that is where so much creativity can happen and can be born and some of your best ideas will start to rise to the surface. Now I'm, I have no shortage of ideas. I'm an Enneagram seven or I'm always like, Oh, what are we going to do next? Right. It's just I need somebody that helps me with a filter. But that integration piece can be really important and so what I'm hearing you say is like I'm starving myself have an anybody listening is starving yours. Self of creativity, when you allow yourself to constantly be on either autopilot or overdrive or both all the time.
Jenny Footle
Yeah, yeah, they were doing there's doing a study and it was about like, how, like, how do you get creativity? And how, like, how does one be creative, and it went back to like kids, and actually stars. So if you have kids, like, encourage them to play a lot, so they found that kids who didn't play a lot, didn't really have a lot of creativity growing up. And when I say creativity, I'm not talking about just drawing art. No, like, creativity also can be synonymous with critical thinking skills. So you're robbing you, both your kids and yourself, of clay, you're robbing yourself of the ability to think critically, and your creativity, which I would like to say, are two very important things to my life and my career. Yeah. You know. And so I mean, I think we're, you know, sometimes not sometimes most the time, we're our own worst critic, right? We are. Yeah, we are, like hardest on ourselves than we aren't anyone else. Like we've all heard, like, if you said what you say to yourself to other people, they would not be your friends. We've all heard that, right. But the truth of it is, like I especially as an entrepreneur, or someone who sets your own schedule, I think sometimes there's this, you have to You're like, harder on yourself, because no one else is. And so like, you have to hold yourself accountable. And you also want to be a good steward of your people, right? You want to be a good steward of your business. But so I've had to start telling myself like when I take days off, I'm like, this is actually part of my business strategy. This is part of my plan.
Kate Bendewald
I love this go on.
Jenny Footle
Wherever you go, and you play, and you do things that and you're like, how do I play as an adult? Some of you might be like, I know exactly how I'm playing as an adult. And some of you won't be like, what is that? Am I going to a playground, but anything really sparks? Adventure, intimacy, or beauty? If you say those again, yeah. If you think of these three things, this is your play. If it curates adventure, intimacy, or beauty.
Kate Bendewald
Let's, let's talk about some examples. Let's start with adventure. What would be some ways that we could cultivate adventure? I think of travel right comes to mind.
Jenny Footle
Yeah, so I literally, I mean, I live in Colorado. So that's the beauty is that adventures literally right out my doorstep, right? I go hiking, there's a lot of things that can go on an adventure. It's really fun going with someone else who has maybe different interests. Like for example, I get a lot out of hiking because I appreciate beauty and nature and flowers and trees. But like my husband studies bugs, and so he sees all these little things when we go hiking. I know
Kate Bendewald
that sounds fine.
Jenny Footle
He takes people on eggs for a living in Aurora, but
Kate Bendewald
Oh, cool. So many questions. Okay, stay focused.
Kate Bendewald
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Kate Bendewald
I just met up I just met a woman, a friend of my daughter, friend in class their, their their mom, she forages for mushrooms and I'm like, can we please go forage for mushrooms together? This sounds like so much fun. I remember last what was like two years ago, we went camping and we got out of the car and I saw this mushroom that was like the size of a volleyball. And it was there were just like all these crazy mushrooms and like, it just sounds like fun. Okay, so adventure getting out. I like the idea of going with somebody who has different interests. Even for urbanites, like we live near the light rail, we could hop on the light rail and just go explore downtown and find like an art gallery or something. Okay. Yeah, trying to think of some other. What was the other two?
Jenny Footle
So adventure, intimacy. And so I think, no, we can jump to beauty, we'll come back to intimacy. But yeah, a lot of the reasons if you think about the reasons you travel, the reasons you go on vacation, a lot of them is because you're seeking adventure, intimacy with whoever you're going with. Because you're, you know. Yeah. And then beauty, right? Like, you don't go to crappy places. Which, oh, you know, and these are the things that refresh you, those are the things you do to refresh yourself. And you can do them on the regular, right, you can work, your weekly schedule, some of you daily, but you can work it into your weekly schedule of seeking these things out. And just again, it comes back to almost like a gratitude practice, which is one of the things we talked about in the workshop is really curating a gratitude practice and, you know, Google it, I have the like, impacts of gratitude. I feel like you could spend a whole hour talking about the impacts of gratitude. But honestly, a lot of it comes down to observing and just being mindful, you know, there's that buzzword, mindful of your environment. But like, Are you noticing, like, all the grooves in the sidewalk? Whenever you walk downtown, like, you know, have you thought like an adventure? Like, Have you counted how many stories high that is? Or how many you can see, have you like gone around the block to see if you can make it accurate? You know, like, there's different ways that you can play and different things that you can just discover about life and the people around you and everything by just observing instead of always going to the internet to look things up. I mean, you can do that too. But what if we like old school, pretend we didn't have it. And we just took a walk and hypothesize about random things. I mean, it sounds really dumb, but it's like, that's how you get creative ideas. And flowing is really just coming back to that play. Like, let's just imagine that this is a world we live in. And this is, you know, what we're seeing or like, you know, sitting in your car and watching people walk down the street, right? And having we used to do this in junior high all the time. And the IRS pretend like you fill in what they're actually talking about you and your friend, you're like, I'm going to be that person, that person, you know, and then you just like, make up dialogue, right? And it's fine, pretend, but it's just like, you know, making it's just like bringing a new light to your world. And it doesn't have to be so. Yes.
Kate Bendewald
Yeah. It's it. Yeah, I'm loving this, you know, I'm, I'm always telling my kids, you know, the first of all, they, they have 00 reason to come tell me they're bored. Like, they just, they just, there's no reason to ever be bored here. But from time to time, it happens. And, you know, they they know, they're gonna get my standard response. Boredom breeds creativity, figured out. I'm not here to entertain you. Right. So, next thing I know, they're like, playing with sticks and rocks, whatever, it's great. But I'm really good at helping guide my kids. They're just like, being okay with boredom. But it's not something that sits very well with me myself. So I, I'm starting to recognize the importance of allowing myself that white space and freedom to just allow myself to get a little ticket a little bored, you know, and this in the name of in the name of creativity. Intimacy, did we cover that one?
Jenny Footle
We kind of covered it, about travel, but all wrapped up. So it's like finding intimacy. So these are also the three things so point of caution is that these are also the three things that people are most scared of. Really, why and venture all include risk to some degree. Yes. Okay. Yeah, or the human conditioning comes into play, right? Like if we beauty I mean, there's so many things in our culture wrapped up with like why we should or shouldn't and bla bla bla and what that should look like and what It shouldn't and it's, it's, it's almost taboo, you know, to want to, you know, pursue beauty sometimes is really taboo, you know, especially for men, right, like, but also women.
Kate Bendewald
Oh my gosh, yes. Okay, now I'm, it's clicking for me now, when you first said that it wasn't intuitive, but I can see with the beauty it can be too like Brene Brown talks about this and she has a she has a phrase for it. And it's escaping me right now. But it's like beauty can be like this moment when you see your little wine sleeping, right? And, and there's a there's this moment where you're just like, in awe and adoring of your child, right? But then there's also like this other part of your brain that comes in and is like, what if they get sick? What if they die? What if they get hit by a car? What if they get kidnapped? Right? Whatever, like, you're not allowing yourself to just enjoy that beauty in that moment, because you're whatever, like letting that lizard brain sort of take over. That makes that makes sense and intimacy. Right? It makes sense there too. Because, you know, falling in love is one of the most like, whether it's like, with a partner or with a child or whatever, like it's one of the most vulnerable things that you can you can experience. Okay, that makes a lot of sense. Yeah. And same with
Jenny Footle
adventure. Right? It's like going into the unknown, you know? Yeah. And so they are risky. And there's resistance there. Yeah, you know, and if you think about even what Brene Brown said, and like, the sad reality is like, we're all gonna die. We're all gonna get sick and die or something, you know? And it's like, are you gonna keep working before you get sick and die? Or are you gonna actually like, enjoy life before you or someone else gets sick and dies? You know? And it's like, it's gonna happen, like, sorry, reality, you know, all of us.
Kate Bendewald
Yeah. Yeah. My daughter asked me last night, because she had she's, she's she's slightly dramatic. I love her. But she's like my little drama queen. And she has like a cough. Oh, now my hair tight just broke. Well, for those, those are watching on video, the video version of this, she'll see. Anyway, she's like, Mom, am I gonna die? And I was like, Well, yeah, of course, you know, and she was astounded by.
Jenny Footle
Yeah, so yeah, I think, you know, point of note, it's like, well, that sounds really good play. And like, I can work it into my schedule and say, like, this is actually what I need to do to do my job well, like, you can tell yourself that because you need to start telling yourself that you need that bandwidth in order to do your job well, and that's what you want to do. Right? And so, but know that there, you will encounter resistance from yourself from others. And that's okay. And I think that's where that that pause that we talked about that breadth comes in of being like you have time, right? You don't have to have it all figured out. Ever, actually. Ever.
Kate Bendewald
Yeah. Annie, you're really pushing me here. Okay.
Jenny Footle
You don't, you don't I mean, I was literally I was talking to a federal prosecutor the other day, and he told me that perfect is the enemy of good. And if you want to make something good, you've got to stop trying to make it perfect. If you want to make a perfect, if you want to make a good solution, you have to stop trying for a perfect solution. Right. Like, even as creatives, like how much beauty comes out of the mess, it's not when everything's put away, in their correct drawers that like something, it's when it's all out on the table. And there's just stuff everywhere, and you're like in it, right? That's when like the good stuff happens. But for some reason we we get scared, we get risk adverse. And we we don't want all this chaos, you know, or we get overwhelmed by the cows instead of like being in it, you know. And I think this is where those that pause that we talked about is really comes in handy. Mostly for like a reset for being present for being in the moment. Because if you gave your time and your attention to someone, if you spent that if you I don't care if you drove across town, or if you took the time to start up your laptop. Like you would want them to be their husband with you. Right? Like let's not get more death by meetings that we're only half showing up or because we're checking a box. Like, we left that whenever we became you know, self starters or entrepreneurs or, you know, working for ourselves like we left that stuff, you know, at least I had the privilege of leaving it. And so I'm not going to drag people into meetings with me that I only expect them to have mentally show up for like that's a waste of my time and their time. Yeah. And so taking that pause and not taking your stuff in with you or your baggage as much as possible, right like It's, it's a, it's a practice, you know, like talked about in the workshop like it's all a practice doctors have a practice yoga is a practice like it's been, the more we adopt this for the better off will be that everything is a practice not a perfect. And so you know one of the things I talked about in the workshop is like literally before you get out of your car to go into that meeting, or to pick up your kids or whatever, just closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, maybe a few. And just hitting the reset button before you launch into your next thing. Like, even if you want to check your text messages so that you don't check them while you're with the next person, you can still take two seconds to put that phone down. Take a breath or two, and then go into it so that you're fully present and you're fully invested. Right? Because like deep down what people really want is to be seen. And so bringing the humanity back into the work we do since we're are working with humans, if you you know, if you have clients, they're humans, you know, you're not working with machines. And even if you are working with machines, like, you know, one of the things that I learned the other day is that you bring value to money, money does not bring value to you.
Kate Bendewald
Oh, you are so full of goodies. Okay, elaborate on that for a moment.
Jenny Footle
So you bring the value to money. What you offer, and who you are, is what makes money valuable. Otherwise, it's literally just a piece of paper. Right? Yeah. Like if you didn't show up and do your work? And how in right, like, that's the difference, right? between someone who does work, like, half heartedly and someone who does work fully invested and fully present. They get paid more. Yeah, because they're bringing more of their value into it. Right, right. You know,
Kate Bendewald
for me, personally, that's really flipping a script. That's huge. That's big. That is,
Jenny Footle
I think a lot of us have financial trauma. And this is something that we're learning about more in the realm of how it relates to survivors of human trafficking, especially but, you know, you can only imagine the financial trauma they have around their worth what they've literally had a price tag put on them, right, yeah, unbelievable. But we do it to ourselves as well. And I think we all have a little bit of this financial trauma based on the fact that we talk about money as if it's super taboo, but also, you know, our relationship with money, generations before us their relationship with money and how it impacts us. But what if we stopped, you know, it's like, it's, it's, again, it's back to that, you know, we talk about, like, if you talk to other people, the way that you talk to yourself, they wouldn't be friends with you. And it's like, if you had a relationship with other people, the way you have a relationship with money, would they be friends with you? Like, how do you treat money? Do you treat it? You know, like, I recently read a book and it was, it's called, you are a badass at making money.
Kate Bendewald
Oh, yeah. Jen, Jen Sincero sincero. Right.
Jenny Footle
So I just read this with a group of ladies, other survivors and like, it's like life changing, but it's like she asked his questions, like, write a letter to money. Yeah, you know, and like deer money. Like, I love it. When you're here, I'm always afraid you're gonna leave. So I'm not going to let you like freely flow out. Because I'm not going to like, let you go. Because you're not going to come back. I just know you're not going to come back. And you know, all these kinds of things. It's like, however you talk to money, like if you had to have a conversation with it. But then going back to that concept of, yeah, your value is not defined by how much money you make. I mean, I think especially as women we should know that, you know, we don't think about it that way. But it's like, you know, I think I saw something on Mother's Day last year was like, someone gave a job description of a woman to like a man like just blindly and they're like, so will you take the job, you know, and then like, also with the pay grade on it, and they were like, ever, you know, it's like, yeah, no one would sign up for that. You're worth more than you make, let's be honest, and like there's still pay discrepancies like put paid to discrepancies aside, you know, how you show up and what you contribute to the world like I As a woman, you know, and so we're not, we're not even talking, like, you need to, like, let go of like money defining you or how good you are, or like hustling for it, you know, like Brene Brown, who's awesome. She said, You know, if you're hustling, you don't know what you're worse. You're not stepping into your worth, if you're hustling, right? People who know what they were worth don't hustle.
Kate Bendewald
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, and then that is, that is the premise of the work that I do. And designers Oasis, and helping designers sort of build this thing is, you know, the goal is to build it in a way that's sustainable, and without the hustle. And that helps you understand your worth and your value and just hold space for that. And to really set clear boundaries with clients that, you know, you have a work schedule that you define. And, you know, for years, my my work schedule involved, you know, I don't do meetings on Mondays, I don't do meetings on Fridays. Usually, we'll do them like Tuesdays or Thursdays, and wins. And actually, my, my, my routine is still, you know, I've moved away from client work to do to take nurture designers waste is full time. So but my work schedule is still very similar. And then Wednesday is, is the day that I do deep work and creative work. And typically, you know, I might record a podcast, because to me, that's part of the craft and the creation process. But I don't consider that a meeting, necessarily. But it's where I'm going to do writing, that's where I'm going to record video. It's where I'm creating tools or resources for designers. Which, by the way, if that's all I ever did like that, I'd be fine with that. That's fun for me. And so the Wednesday's is like that deep work. And with clients. You know, I always said, like, you'll get an end of week email every Friday. But we made our meeting days are on Thursdays, and they're between these hours, right. And generally speaking, I've I don't ever remember having a client that protested this and was, you know, if nothing else, they appreciated a knowing what to expect for me and when to expect to hear from me. And they respected the fact that I had boundaries and the fact that I had clarity around that. And they knew that they couldn't text me, they knew that they could call me anytime during the workweek. And I would pick up the phone and answer. But texting is for friends and family. And so I just think about like from from the perspective of interior design business owners, I know that you're committed to your clients, I know that you're committed to the process, I know that you're committed to giving them a space that feels whole and healing and beautiful, and nurturing, and a place for them to commune and share, you know, laughter and joy with friends, right? We talked about home and the meaning of home. And these are the things that you can help your clients experience. But also think about the experience that you give your clients from the perspective of your energy, and what you bring to the table. Imagine showing up for a consultation with a brand new client and you're showing up frazzled, you're showing up rushing from your previous meeting, or showing up for design presentation, and you're cramming to get all the last things printed off, right? I know this because I've done this, right? That compare that energy to what you're talking about Jenny to showing up for a new client consultation with ease, feeling grounded, sitting in your car before you get out and taking a minute to just be grateful for the opportunity without any expectations of the outcome. And to take a few breaths, like how much different is that consultation gonna go? If you show up with that kind of energy? For sure.
Jenny Footle
Yeah. And, you know, it's, it's honoring to, like I said, it's honoring to yourself, and it's honoring to those that you know, are asking things of you. And you're just to show up with that clarity and to not come at it from you know, there's going to be times right life happens where we're gonna be running on empty and we still show up anyway, like, this is lessons we teach our kids.
Kate Bendewald
Right, you just gotta get it done. Got to do it. Like you're right.
Jenny Footle
In time. It's like, that's not that's not the daily. That shouldn't be your daily.
Kate Bendewald
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Don't do
Jenny Footle
that. Like those days will happen. But if that becomes your usual, take a step back and say, Yeah, Yeah, we got to change this right? Yeah. You want to talk about what happens when you have those, those bad days?
Kate Bendewald
Yeah. Well, and what's you know, and this reminds me of the conversation that I had with Molly crouch about you know, the people pleaser, right? We the folks I am a recovering people pleaser a recovering perfectionist, I'm working on all these things, right? You can still be a people pleaser, I think is what I'm realizing without, like, caught and still take care of yourself like your your your your definition of people pleasing can look different. People pleasing doesn't have to mean like, going to the ends of the earth, you know, or being available 24/7 or always being on it, that people pleasing can also look like, No, I'm not working today, because I'm going on a hike so that I can rejuvenate so that next week, when I show up for work, I feel more creative, more inspired, more grounded, more focused, and I need this right. And I know if I was a client, and somebody told me that it would be like you go on that freakin hike, and you have a great time. And don't let anything stop you. Right? I would appreciate that. This is somebody who values the creative process values themselves, and they're going to show up and just be in a better space. And I talk about clients, I talk about this with designers too, we have a tool that helps designers like figure out their client load and their work schedule, their calendar and all that stuff. And you know, this can be a tool to help you give yourself the spacing that you need to the time to be creative while also, you know, getting the job done. Okay, I want to I want to wrap up with a couple of like, specific things, I want to bring up some of the specific yoga moves that you talked about that I thought were so cool. Because you talked about how you could do these on a daily basis, just like, you know, not even talking about like going in for an hour yoga class, although do that too. But these are, there's a couple of things that you talked about, and what they can do for you. And so one of them is ragdoll. Which is where you can sort of twisting and you're letting your arms just kind of like flop around. And what that does is releasing and letting go. So to write. Okay, talk about the benefit of that. And I can think about like some really good times when you might want to do this. But what is talking about ragdoll, and how to do it?
Jenny Footle
Yeah, so you know, we hold trauma in our body, which is what we talked about a lot. But we also hold everything else in our body, like stress and tension and happiness, and all these things. And so we get really stiff and rigid sometimes, especially when we're hard on ourselves that comes with like rigidity, right? And so, and like wanting to happen perfect, right also helps with rigidity. Right, because when you get older and you get rigid and things don't move, then you can pin down to tie your shoes and you're more likely to break that shoulder or that hit because you're just too rigid. You know, we're talking about it physically. But it also it comes into others in your life like mentally emotionally, how you show up also for your physical health. It's worth it enough. But so ragdoll, yeah, where you just you're standing and just literally like turning, let your arms like flop side to side and take deep breaths while you do it. You might pop your back, he just kind of like loosen up. And I think in yoga, we you know, we hold a lot of poses to release, but some of us especially if you have monkey brain, it just gets more tense. Like those muscles are just getting more tense instead of relaxing. Like sometimes it just gets more tense or like you're holding it and maybe your leg is relaxing. But like slowly your shoulders are getting tense or your necks getting tired.
Kate Bendewald
Oh, gosh, I know I could feel my son like you need to rag doll right now.
Jenny Footle
Oh my god, I love yoga, but like, let's be honest, like it doesn't it has its drawbacks sometimes. And so the rag doll is just this pose where it allows you to let go and just really like move. It's like, if you've ever done a shaking meditation, you literally just shake everything but like sometimes it's really jarring for people and a little upsetting so ragdoll is like the way easier. Yeah, more comfortable version that we can do. Okay.
Kate Bendewald
I love ragdoll. Yeah, so imagine you just got an email from an angry client and they're being irrational or maybe they're being rational and you screwed up and you've got to figure out a solution whatever the case may be, but this would be a good time for you to practice ragdoll. Okay, another one you talked about was standing on one foot and balancing on one foot talk about that and how that's beneficial.
Jenny Footle
Yes, so it takes balance, right? In the physical sense. But then also in the mental sense, you have to balance things, whenever you stand on one foot, you have to be really focused, right? It helps if you're looking at one spot while you balance. So it really helps you zone in. And it actually is a really good litmus test of figuring out where you're at. And so the example I gave is, my cross country coach in college, would make us all stand in tree pose, stand on one foot and tree pose, before race, just to kind of see how nervous we were if we were really focused. And not only is it a good litmus test, but if you stand there, and you work on it long enough, you will actually it'll help ground you clear your mind. And like, you'll have to focus and to not get out of it until you really have like, found it, you know, definitely helps bring you back and give that clarity and just really bring you to the moment and so it's good to see, you know, kind of where you're at. If you're like, I don't know, my, my nervous might not, you know, because sometimes the cues aren't always there, like, physically or psychologically, like if we're nervous, or if we're out of whack. And so giving yourself that little balance test to say like, oh, actually, Okay, a few more breaths is going to help me in this moment, or like, actually, I'm really good to go. Let's go, you know, yeah, that's what tree pose can really do for you.
Kate Bendewald
Yeah, for somebody like myself, who is add, and I'm constantly I feel very fragmented. A lot of times when I'm not, when I'm not really well integrated, right, I have days where I'm, I'm on point, I'm moving along, like, I feel good and organized. And then there are days where I feel like, who, you know, maybe because I got a bad night's sleep, or maybe there's just a lot going on, or I'm trying to get stuff out the door before the weekend, whatever. And so I can, it can be hard to focus on one thing, because I feel so fragmented. And I could see how in that moment, taking a minute to just get centered and get focused, like standing on one foot, get you out of your head, and get you into your body, and allows you to just to just focus, I could see how that grounding effect could take. In fact, I've done this, like, since I learned this, I found myself like, you use the example of like, you could just do this while you're standing in the line at the grocery store. Right. And I've done it while I was waiting for my kids to pick them up. And you know, cuz I'm irritated that I had to stop what I was doing and pick them up, God forbid, I have to be their parent for a second, you know, like, just Just what I say it out loud of like, God, Kate. But no, i, i The highlight of my day actually picking up those little nuggets. Okay, I'm walking, the benefit of walking to process information, that bilateral stimulation. Can you talk a bit about that? I know that's not necessarily Yoga.
Jenny Footle
But yeah, no, it's totally movement.
Kate Bendewald
It's all it's all related.
Jenny Footle
So yeah, there's, there's a new therapy out called EMDR. And when I say new, I mean, it's been highly researched. And you have to do like, so many stinkin hours to get certified. And it's like legit science, which is really fun. For some of us who are not, didn't grew up where mental health was a thing, it's really nice to know, you can get therapy that's like, set like it's more structured. So if that's your thing, you should look into it. But yeah, so it's called EMDR. But what it is, is it's bilateral movements. And it's a form of therapy. And it helps move things from the chaotic part of your brain or the chaotic part of your brain back here to the front of your brain where you can process things rationally. And chronologically, you know, and think about them from a level head instead of from chaos in the back of your brain. And so that's what EMDR does, that's what this bilateral stimulation does. And you can actually do it by walking or running. And so if you've had a bad day, or you had something that really crazy happen, try going for a walk. And if you want to talk about it, still go for a walk, just call your friend while you're walking, or take your friend walking with you, instead of meeting them for happy hour or coffee or whatever, go for a walk, it's free, you don't have to wait to get in, and you can wear whatever you want, but also in like, you know, like also, like it's so it's really good for you. And it's going to actually help if you're walking while you're talking or walking while you're thinking about whatever that is ruminating about it. If you're like I really hate the fact that I'm still thinking about this, go for a walk, go for a walk and let yourself think about it. And you'll actually you'll actually come to more rational conclusions better conclusions. It'll help you think more creatively finding those rational like those critical thinking skills. And so it's helpful on so many different levels but really walking especially if you're like trying to really, you know, solve a problem or something's really got you go for a walk, and you'll actually probably come up with the solution that's more healthy and going to be more beneficial to you. Because you're activating your body in this way, and therefore stimulating your brain in a better way.
Kate Bendewald
makes so much sense. And yeah, and I think that there's real value in anytime you're facing a tricky situation to be slow to respond. I know that I have had, I remember a number of years ago, I had this client who had been a repeat client, and I had worked with them twice before, this was the third time to work with them. And they were nice. They were they were nice, but there was always a little bit egg Shelly is what I call it, like always a little bit, like Briselli. And it was the third time working with him that something happened. And it just like, the whole thing blew up. And I was so irritated that I had said yes to this project, knowing that there had always been a little bit of this, like, tinge of whatever. And so when the thing blew up, I was so mad, I was so mad. And I wanted to just like write an email immediately. And I had to, you know, just tell myself, like, just you do not need to respond to anything right now give it 24 hours, right? And, you know, that would be a good time to go for a walk, just to process that if you're having to figure out how to respond to something, just take a lap, take a lap. So Well, I wouldn't be mindful of your time. There's, there's, there's some other things that you shared, but I would just encourage anybody listening to really start to, if you find this, this work, interesting. Learn more about the way that yoga you can integrate it not just in a class, but like in your day to day life, like Child's Pose for grounding, or, you know, watching your posture. Are you open physically? These are some of my notes from class, are you when your shoulders are back, your spine is tall, your chin is up? You know, it's you're open to life, the possibilities and opportunities, are you closing it on yourself? Because that's closing in on opportunity. And so watching your posture, Child's Pose for grounding, hip openers are really good. But don't do it before meeting and rest afterwards. Just so many good things. So Jenny, I cannot thank you so much for sharing everything that you know that I think I could sit here and talk to you for literally hours. I'm so excited to hear so you're writing a book. Can you tell us about the book?
Jenny Footle
Yeah, well, I'm writing to unfortunately, three, but okay. Protip, if you ever like a book, once it gets to the publisher, a publisher accepts it, it's going to be three to five years until it's published if you get a big publisher, if you go for a big publisher. So if you're thinking about writing a book, like do not procrastinate get on it and then figure stuff out. Get help. So yeah, I'm writing the one that's coming out later this year is a book of poetry. And so yeah, very excited.
Kate Bendewald
Yeah, we'll have to stay posted. Okay. Tell us where people can find you and the work that you're doing online.
Jenny Footle
Yeah, the best way to find me and the work that I'm doing is honestly, beautiful feet wellness.org, which is our website. You can also Google me and find all kinds of lovely things, not bad things, actually. Wouldn't that be nice if we could also learn about our Google search? Yes, so you can find out more about me there. Or you can find out more about me on my website. And you can always feel free to reach out, we do awesome things all the time. So Oh, my
Kate Bendewald
gosh, that's beautiful feet wellness.org, we'll make sure to link to all of that in the show notes. I feel like the rest of my day is just going to flow so much more smoothly after this beautiful conversation today. So I appreciate your time and everything that you're doing in this world. It's really, it's really good work and much needed. So keep keep it out. And we're will keep tabs on you. And I want to, I want to find I want to keep an eye out for that poetry book when it comes out. So thank you, Jenny. Have a great rest of your day. Bye.
Kate Bendewald
Thank you so much for letting me spend part of this day with you. If you're loving this podcast, please share it with a friend who you think might also love it. Or perhaps you can take just 30 seconds to open your podcast app and leave us a five star rating. And if you have just an extra minute, go ahead and leave a review. This helps me so much and it helps other designers like you to find the podcast. It also adds fuel to my motivation to keep making great episodes just for you. However you choose to help. Please know I appreciate you so very much. Thank you, my friend. Have a wonderful rest of your day and I'll see you next time.
